What Does Mom Really Want?
Next Sunday is Mother’s Day. A time to celebrate that special woman that gained 50 lbs. for you, changed your diaper, tried to teach you manners, and still shakes her head when she sees what you are wearing. It’s also a day of sibling rivalry, blown expectations, and all around stress. How did we make a “Hallmark Holiday” into one of the biggest holidays of the year?
I have a mother. I am a mother. My mother and I have completely different views on how Mother’s Day is supposed to go. She loves the brunches, the flowers, the phone calls from the whole family and being the center of attention. I dislike it all. The crowded restaurants, the obligatory phone calls, resentful teenagers, and having to do “what everyone else does”, only ends up being an irritation to me.
I think that mothers should get to chose what happens on Mother’s Day. They should not have to sit at a table with their mother-in-law as they continue to keep an eye on their own kids. They should be able to have a free day of actually not being a mother.
I know, I know, some of you can’t spend a day so important, away from your little darlings. I am not one of them. For the last 14 years, my girlfriends and I (all mothers), have done the family thing the night before Mother’s Day (no crowds, no stressed out wait staff, no kids that would rather be out playing) and then spent the day together.
We pack a lunch, load up our chairs, and kayak out to an island to spend the whole day. No kids, no phones, no stress. It’s one of our favorite days of the year. While on the island, we see multiple mothers on overloaded boats with screaming kids and we share commiserating glances with them, all the while feeling very lucky we made the decision we did. My family also loves this. There is no stress for them. They leave Mother’s Day wishes on my phone, and they pick a gift off the list on the refrigerator (I don’t believe in hints or mind reading either).
So, before you make the reservation, plan a “family day out”, or buy an expensive present, ask. Some moms just want peace, quiet, no responsibilities, time with friends, or no obligations. It often makes everyone happier.
Happy Mother’s Day!